Dark Metamorphosis Page 2

  “I have no other choice.”

  Xttra clasped her left hand with a tenderness matching his voice. A scarlet silk glove, matching Calandra’s dress, adorned her hand and covered her forearm up to her elbow.

  “Their words to me were quite clear,” he said. “Resume space missions full-time going forward or lose my rank.”

  Calandra shifted in her chair with an awkward suddenness. This night was supposed to mark a special occasion. One year to the day since they returned home from Earth. Healing from memories of their time on such an awful planet was still a daily struggle. With what she experienced, and its aftermath, she feared panic and anxiety were now permanent companions.

  Calandra was not ready to see Xttra depart from Lathos again. He alone supplied a safe place from her fear, the only person who understood her trauma. Imagining what dangers awaited him among the stars made her mind and heart race at an equal pace. Some way must exist for him to buy more time. There had to be a higher Stellar Guard official willing to consider an appeal and overturn the decision.

  Losing the man whom she loved counted as a gnawing fear Calandra did not want to face.

  “I’m not ready for this.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “How can they expect either of us to be ready for this?”

  Calandra’s arms rested on the table before her. Xttra reached out and grasped her ungloved right hand with the same delicate touch he applied to the left one. He held both hands and gnawed on his bottom lip, visibly at a loss for words. She stared at Xttra and sniffed back her tears.

  “You’re still going to do it, aren’t you?”

  Her question sounded more confrontational than Calandra intended. It did not matter now. He must understand everything at stake here. A determined frown washing over his lips showed he did not get the message.

  “What would you have me do? I put off the inevitable for as long as possible.”

  Xttra cast a quick glance over his shoulder at an elevated square floor near their table. Two dancers entertained the crowd with a traditional dance from the Rim Islands. Watching their agile dips and bends, executed at a rapid pace in harmony with each other’s movements and background music, caused him to turn so he partially faced the dancers. Xttra slipped his right hand away from her left.

  Calandra refused to let Xttra’s rhetorical question go unanswered.

  “Maybe now is the right time to consider leaving the Stellar Guard for good.” She gave his other hand a gentle squeeze and spoke in a softer tone this time. “I want us to chart a new course. One leading to a long and happy life together.”

  Xttra turned and faced her again. His deep blue eyes matched his tightened lips, conveying his answer before he opened his mouth. She sensed a rift between them, and a tangible melancholy.

  “You’re asking me to walk away from everything I worked for so many years to achieve. That’s a heavy sacrifice to demand from me.”

  Calandra snapped her other hand away from his hand. She straightened up in her chair. Her green eyes hardened into a piercing glare.

  “Sacrifice? You want to discuss sacrifice?”

  Her left arm lay motionless on the table. Calandra tugged at the glove on her hand, drawing the fabric on each finger forward. Xttra cast his eyes down at the table. Those eyes grew wider.

  “What are you doing?”

  Calandra ignored his question and continued pulling the fabric away from her hand. The silk sleeve slid down her forearm while the hand remained frozen to the table. At once, the fabric popped free.

  Tears welled up in Calandra’s eyes anew as she stared down at the limb. Black metal occupied space once claimed by flesh and bone. Fashioned to resemble a wrist and a hand with built-in rubber padding covering the palm and fingertips. The prosthetic arm served as a poor imitation of what she once possessed.

  A cruel reminder of the cost of her journey to Earth.

  Calandra gazed up at Xttra again. Tears glistened in his eyes, and he swallowed hard. She scowled and slapped the metal wrist.

  “This is sacrifice.” Her voice rose higher and grew sharper. “Do you see it? What I’m asking of you does not compare to what’s been required of me.”

  Xttra buried his face in his hands for a moment and then let them trail down his cheeks. Calandra sensed several pairs of eyes focusing on her as the room grew quieter. She snapped her head to the side and glanced over at an adjacent table. Another couple sitting at that table quickly averted their eyes and stared down at plates holding partially eaten food. Calandra turned away and refocused her attention on Xttra.

  He licked his lips as he met her gaze again.

  “I know this ordeal has been rough for you. I’m so sorry. I wish I could snap my fingers and undo everything that happened to us on that awful planet.”

  “Neither of us can undo what’s been done. This is real. And it’s painful. And scary.”

  Xttra glanced down at Calandra’s artificial hand and then closed his eyes for a moment.

  “We can’t afford to live in fear,” he said. “No matter how much it hurts, we can’t stop moving forward.”

  Calandra’s frown deepened.

  “That’s simplistic advice. You didn’t lose a hand.”

  Xttra straightened up in his chair. He answered her with a quick nod. His eyes darted to another adjacent table as he grew aware of other guests inside the club turning their attention to their argument.

  “We’ll get it working right soon. All we need is the right neural sensors in the hand and—”

  “That’s what my clan doctor has been telling us forever now.” Calandra’s fingers stayed rigid as she raised her left arm off the table. “My artificial hand is still no closer to functioning the way it’s supposed to work.”

  Xttra ran a hand through his light brown hair and extended the other across the table toward her. He tried to muster a smile, but it remained partially frozen at the corners of his mouth.

  “Things will work out in the end.” Xttra worked to conjure up a reassuring tone. “Ahm will see to it. Hope isn’t lost.”

  Calandra looked down at his extended hand and clasped it with her real hand. A lump formed in her throat. She wanted to believe what he told her. Countless setbacks painted a different picture.

  “Hope never used to flee from me. Now it is sprinting to the horizon far from my grasp.”

  He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and painted a slight smile on his lips.

  “I’ll be safe. I give you my word. I already went to Fengar once without incident.”

  Calandra ripped her hand away from his hand again. Her heartbeat quickened at an increasing rate until it throbbed inside her chest.

  “Why am I even bothering? My feelings mean nothing when it comes to getting your way.”

  She rose from the table abruptly and pushed her chair back with her right hand. Numerous pairs of eyes followed Calandra as she weaved past other tables and marched toward the door.

  “Wait! Calandra! Come back!”

  Xttra’s voice bore a contrite tone. She did not care. Calandra did not bother to stop and turn or cast a brief glance over her shoulder. All her pain and fear should mean more than it obviously meant to him. She could not bear the thought of spending another moment inside this club. Dining and dancing. Pretending everything was normal.

  Things were not normal. They never would be normal again. Not for her.

  A steady drizzle from ashen clouds greeted Calandra as the main club door slid open. She stormed outside the building. Fresh puddles adorned minor dips on the stone walkway running along the front of the club. Water droplets trickled off a stone statue of a lupine mounted on a ledge above the door. They ran down the statue’s erect triangular ears, oval eyes, and long snout before striking Calandra’s forehead as she glanced upward. She brushed the raindrops away and started for their aerorover parked a few steps down the s
treet.

  A hand caught Calandra by her elbow as she turned to sprint down the walkway. Fingers gently wrapped around her arm.

  “I don’t want to talk about it any longer.” Her voice grew soft enough that pelting raindrops threatened to drown it out. “Please take me home.”

  “I’m sorry. The mission started on Lathos. I had no idea pursuing an escaping vessel would lead me out to Fengar.”

  Calandra spun around to face Xttra again. A renewed fire surged through her eyes.

  “You had no idea pursuing another ship would take you into space? Do you think I’m that naïve?”

  “Someone had to intercept that Cassian dart. My scout ship was the nearest one when the call went out. What was I supposed to do?”

  Calandra looked at him stone-faced while blinking back raindrops trailing down to her chin.

  “Do you always need to be the hero?”

  “What do you think would have happened if I ignored the communicator?” Xttra snapped. “Or said no? Do you think my superior officer would have embraced my resistance?”

  Calandra dropped her head and closed her eyes. She knew exactly where such a scenario led. He was right. Fresh tears rolled through the cracks between her eyelids and mingled with raindrops already forging a path down her cheeks.

  “I don’t want you to die.” Calandra’s voice grew quieter as she contemplated the weight of her own statement. “I want us to grow old together. How can we do that if you continue to risk your life in space?”

  Fingers brushed across her cheek. Calandra raised her head and gazed into Xttra’s deep blue eyes. She could not tell if tears also mingled with the raindrops running down his cheeks, but his trembling lips signaled she was finally getting through to him.

  “I never contemplated this decision in those terms,” he said. “Losing you would destroy me. I can’t put you through a similar ordeal.”

  “Does that mean what I hope it means?”

  “It means I will do whatever it takes to guarantee a long, happy life together.” Xttra curled a finger through a lock of her auburn hair. “You’re my wife. I love you. If putting you first means keeping my feet on the ground, then that’s what I’m willing to do.”

  He drew Calandra into his arms. Her eyes closed tight at the same moment their lips met. Calandra embraced him tighter as their lips pressed together. When she pulled back again, a smile appeared on his face.

  A similar one now also adorned her own lips.

  “I love you too.”

  Xttra clasped her right hand and led her back into the club away from the rain. They stopped just inside the main door, and he turned to face Calandra again. His free hand trailed down her cheek a second time.

  “What do you plan to do?” she asked.

  “I’ll meet with my superior officer first thing in the morning and request reassignment as an instructor at the academy. If I can’t lead missions myself, at least I’ll get to mold future pilots who do.”

  Calandra sensed a slight crack in his voice as he said those last words. Giving up a dream was not easy, but Xttra made a choice to do it for them. His unselfish act in that moment reinforced why she chose to marry him when they came back from Earth. No other man could ever unite with her as a soulmate as Xttra did.

  She circled her real arm around his back and planted another kiss on his lips.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Calandra slipped her right hand back into Xttra’s left hand. The couple went back inside the main ballroom where they dined and danced together until pale twilight transformed into shadowy night.

  3

  Xttra drew in a deep breath and pressed his eyes shut. His heart thumped a few beats faster as he stood before the door to the simulation arena. Coming here already seemed like a futile gesture, but he had to do it anyway.

  For Calandra’s sake.

  Xttra promised her he would appeal for reassignment to a different role within the Stellar Guard. One that kept him on Lathos. With her.

  A horizontal beam of blue light fell on his face and crossed over his eyes. Once it passed his chin, a small sensor above the door emitted a pair of beeps.

  “Welcome, Ttra Oogan.”

  A half-frown sprang onto his lips as his eyelids popped open again. It made no difference how many times he heard the automated greeting, Xttra never grew accustomed to how the artificial voice mispronounced his name. The same thing happened at every Stellar Guard training facility. Always dropping the first letter on his first name without fail.

  He plodded down a corridor toward an instructional chamber. Dull yellow light reflected off his skin from the low ceiling. It cast a grainy glow on the polished volcanic stone floor. Similar dark stones covered the walls and ceiling. The whole corridor reminded Xttra of a tunnel winding downward into a narrow mine.

  He approached a second broader door at the end of the corridor. Another beam of blue light fell upon him, and the door parted. When Xttra stepped inside, a spray of sand smacked him in the jaw and mouth. He instinctively raised his arm to cover his eyes and spit out sand residue coating his teeth and tongue.

  Two junior officers hunkered down behind a smoldering aerorover ahead. One drew an eliminator. She peppered blue laser bolts across the hull of another crashed vessel resembling a Confederation short-range fighter. The junior officer used a detached aerorover door as a makeshift body shield. The other officer crawled around the rear of the vehicle and raised an armored sleeve. He intended to fire razor discs once he obtained a clear shot at an unseen target concealed behind the wrecked enemy vessel. Stray bolts blasted sandy terrain around both vehicles, throwing up more plumes like the one that first greeted Xttra.

  “Halt simulation! Cease fire!”

  Both junior officers lowered their weapons and sprang to their feet. The detached aerorover door clattered to the ground. They snapped their heads toward the instructional chamber entry door and fixed their eyes on Xttra. He ignored both junior officers and gazed up at an observation room window overlooking the chamber.

  “What warrants interrupting this training session, Master Pilot Oogan?” The same voice spoke again, sounding gruffer this time around.

  “I must speak with Commander Mikkah. It’s urgent.”

  “Commander Mikkah cannot be disturbed. I’ll tell him you stopped by, and he’ll get back to you once—”

  “I’m not leaving,” Xttra said, cutting the voice off. “So, you’ll have to continue your training session around me.”

  He folded his arms and raised his chin. His blue eyes hardened into a stony glare, never moving for a second from the window. Commander Mikkah never bothered to answer his arca vox all morning. Xttra refused to let an obstinate underling put him off now.

  A heavy sigh and a muffled curse greeted his declaration. Another door, leading from the observation room down to the chamber, slid open a minute later. A bald man with broad shoulders stepped into the chamber and approached Xttra. His Stellar Guard uniform matched Xttra’s apart from displaying a commander’s insignia on front instead of a master pilot’s insignia.

  Mikkah narrowed his eyes and scowled.

  “This isn’t the best time, Xttra. Make it quick.”

  “I’m here to request a reassignment.”

  He raised an eyebrow and cast a skeptical glance at Xttra. Mikkah shook his head.

  “We’ve already debated this more than once. Resuming space missions is mandatory.”

  “I haven’t forgotten what you said.”

  “Have you forgotten the consequences of turning down assigned missions? Are you determined to get stripped of your rank and scout ship?”

  Xttra rolled his eyes and sighed. He kicked at a patch of sand near his feet. Mikkah spoke to him as though he were a child. He understood the sacrifice awaiting him by going down this path. The commander did not need to hammer it in
to his skull.

  “I’m well aware of the path that lies before me.” His tone with Mikkah grew rougher. “Things change. I’m willing to step down as a master pilot.”

  “You’re willing to throw away your career?”

  Xttra cocked his head at Mikkah and scrunched his face. He harbored no intention of resigning from the Stellar Guard. Hearing the commander draw that exact conclusion without a second thought only stirred up annoyed feelings inside his mind.

  “I want to shift gears and become an instructor at the academy. I’m certain you can find a spot for me there.”

  “No.”

  Mikkah turned away as though he intended to start walking back to the observation room. Xttra circled around him and cut off his path. He folded his arms a second time.

  “What do you mean no?”

  “I can’t toss aside one of the best master pilots in the entire fleet just because his wife got inside his head.”

  Xttra felt heat rising under his collar. His muscles tensed and he grew as rigid as a statue.

  “Do you understand what Calandra endured on Earth?” he snapped. “Do you understand what I endured? You haven’t walked the same path we walked. I pray to Ahm you never walk it.”

  Mikkah’s frown deepened. He stared down both gawking junior officers standing near the smoldering aerorover. Each officer averted their eyes. The commander refocused his attention on Xttra and pointed at the observation room.

  “Inside. Now.”

  Xttra swallowed hard and followed Mikkah inside. The door sealed behind them with a whoosh. They stepped inside a glass elevator and Mikkah pressed a button for the top floor.

  When the elevator door closed again, a fire enveloped his deep brown eyes.

  “Do you understand what I’ve done on your behalf?” he asked. “I put my career on the line to save yours after what happened on that alien planet.”

  Xttra pinched his lips together and scowled. He did not crave a reminder of those long hours he spent inside the tribunal chamber. Waves of frustration washed over him while judicial officers debated his fate. They dismissed Xttra’s account of attacks from hostile Earthians and Doni’s treachery. Rather than consider evidence he shared with an open mind, the judicial officers seemed eager to blame Xttra for everything that went wrong, impose a stern punishment, and never speak of the whole episode again. He could do nothing beyond watch helplessly.